oh happy day

in search of...

well, i just had my day of prayer... i thought i wouldn't know anyone from that class...seeing them there at that day of prayer was tough...i actually don't want to see them especially on the sharing part...i was scared... they were looking at me willing to listen... but i refused to..i told eveveryone else that i have this wall..

yeah these past few months, especially these past few weeks was tough... it was hell..i've been trying to build this wall not to show any emotions, to pretend i'm tough, but you broke my walls down...(.know you know.)...i've been trying to keep quiet, but those f*cking people who just can't keep their mouths shut and stop making up stories. some people told him that i'm pretending..what was that all about?! i'm so f*cking misunderstood...it just sucks right now, can't i just show my real emotions to the people that i want to show my REAL emotions to? don't i have that right? don't i have the right to post anything? don't i have the right to hang out with other people as well? (including freshmen?!) what the hell, i mean if they were just older i know you guys won't react!!!

it's just so fucking frustrating..i'm not trying to please anyone.i've been trying to keep quiet and ignore stuff, but what the hell was that all about?!
(hope you guys are happy now)

i'm having a hard time controlling my emotions lately (thanks to him, he broke down my walls again)..i don't want them to see me cry and breakdown like that..i don't want anyone to see me except some people (tnx to jillie and ar)... but i guess there are still those moments wherein i can't control it.. i know emotions are just so f*cking hard to control and stop..

we were asked to read this passage.. well the verse: " what are you looking for?" really struck me most. it was hard, i don't know want i want to do in the future. i just want to be happy, yeah i know it's cliche and all i guess everyone wants that peace... i guess that's what im trying to look for is peace.. i just want some peace..

to you guys who kept on criticizing me because of my big mistake before buzz off, i'm not kris aquino or any celeb to watch okay?! i'm just so f*cking tired... i've been trying to keep quiet leave me alone..especially you (yeah you know who you are) but if you don't want to fine...

now i really don't care.. yeah, i know my walls are strongly built this time...

i'm in search of that something, i'm going to find that someday...
at alam ko ngayon tuloy na ang awit ng buhay ko. tuloy pa rin ako.

posted by tippy @ 10:05 PM